Grace Russell, one of the administrative staff at our head office, won an Olympic* medal last week.
Ms. Russell excelled in her chosen event – the 3000m staplechase, where competitors are required to run 3000m, while stapling together stacks of documents at 100m intervals. She completed the event in a world-record time of 11:23, a full minute faster than her nearest rival.
Such is her enthusiasm for stapling, she declared that she felt she could better her world-record and began to run the race again, before organisers had even had the chance to present her with her gold medal.
Sadly, on the third lap Grace received a paper cut, which unfortunately caused her second attempt to be suspended. She sadly succumbed to her injuries and died two weeks later. As a final tribute, Principal Banking paid for her to be buried in a coffin made of paper.
*these were the Administrative Olympics, which are held annually in Slough and are in no way affiliated with the International Olympic Committee